"Him who overcomes I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will he leave it. I will write on him the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on him my new name." Rev 3:12-13 NIV (emphasis mine)
I've written extensively about "I". Usually, it's in a negative connotation - referring to selfishness, being self-centered and ego centrism. However, today, I'm writing to convey something that I'm learning more about everyday. For years I have struggled with feelings of inferiority. I would allow those feelings to dominate my life. I would lay awake at night and think, "If I only could do that." Or, "If I only had that."
In addition, I would tell myself that I wasn't good enough. Because I was calculating my worth based on what I could or could not do. "I can't be a speaker, I have a social phobia." I can't be a marriage counselor, I come from a long history of dysfunction" And, the big one, "I can't be a pastor, I fail everyday."
Everything I believed, everything I thought I knew was wrong. Actually, what I thought was inferiority, was pride. I really thought that I had the ability to change my heart, my habits and my life. Ugh- the arrogance!
This year one of my resolutions was to stop trying so hard. Why? Because I can't make the changes or make the progress I want to make on my own. That is something that God alone has to do. I really feel that the greatest growth occurs in my life when I simply get out of the way.
God says in his Word I will make you into pillars. We simply have to let him. After all he is the great "I" AM!
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