It's not that I'm lost or even feel lost. Quite the contrary, I'm excited at what God is doing in my life, my family and the ministry to which He has called me. Things are going surprisingly well in spite of me.
However, there is this dichotomy between the vision that God has given me and the resources for the vision.
I, being the hopeless visionary and daredevil who, often, at the sheer terror to others, trusts God enough to walk off of a cliff if He told me to do it, find myself in a new arena of ministry.
Recently, I've contemplated praying that God would shut down his impartation of the vision until there is even a minute resemblance of adequate provision.
I recently heard that the distance between expectation and reality is called frustration and similar quotes such as, "If God gives the vision, He will (I don't like using a contraction here) give the provision." Or. "If it's God's will, it's God's bill," can add to that distance.
Am I still a man of faith? Yes! But seeing the fruition of the vision requires a journey. And, that's where I am. Somewhere on the Journey...