The Me That I Was Created To Be

I remember the roller coaster of feelings. A great rush as I thought I had finally broken through. On a Sunday morning, just four years ago, I preached a message from the Old Testament (I love preaching messages from the Old Testament) which was met with the approval of a mature believer who I thought I was trying to please; however, as I think back, I was actually trying to appease.

This individual made a beeline to me after the service, telling me how much they enjoyed the message. I was thrilled. I felt like I could breathe again. Months of worry and fear, all of my striving to connect as a new pastor, melted off of my shoulders. I had accomplished MY goal.

It wasn't long, days even, when I realized that while I had accomplished MY goal, I had not accomplished God's goal. In my conversation with people from the church later that week, I learned that they had not connected with the message at all. They had no idea what I was talking about.

I had broken one of my life's major rules which says, in general, "The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." This, coming from one of the greatest philosophers of all time - Mr. Spock. (Live long and prosper!)

Was I in God's will during those early years of pastoring? Yes. Was there an anointing on my life? Yes. But, to be honest I was often, living and leading for the approval of others. A condition rooted in pride.

The dangerous condition of pride makes us vulnerable. We are tempted to take credit for when something goes well and the blame when something doesn't. Someone leaving the church felt like a knife through my heart - how could it not be personal?

But something happened in 2014 that changed EVERYTHING. On a flight home from a ministry trip in Africa, God begin stirring my heart. I was homesick. I missed Minerva. I missed the Tri-County area. I missed True North Church. I was and still am passionate about seeing an unprecedented move of God's Spirit here.

On that Ethiopian Airlines Boeing 787, for 15-1/2 hours - God began revealing HIS Vision for True North Church A/G and the surrounding area it serves. Of course, my past mistakes caused some doubts and fears. But a month after our return from Africa, in a pastor's conference, I heard a message that confirmed everything that God's Spirit spoke to mine on the plane.

In December of 2014, I cast the Extraordinary Vision, based on Acts 1:8, to True North Church. And what God has done in us and through us as a church is, well, EXTRAORDINARY.

But something else has happened. God has changed me. God gives pastors a pastor's heart. They often love more than they are loved and when someone from the flock is spoken bad of, mistreated or abused it wounds us. Likewise, when someone leaves the church it wounds us.

But a pastor/mentor of mine recently stated that when the Vision leads, disappointments are far less personal. IT'S TRUE! When God's purposes, will and mission are front and center, everything else pales in comparison. This has completely changed my life and ministry.

I'll let God's Vision lead and enjoy being the me that I was created to be.

Influence

A couple of months ago, after a time of prayer, I felt that the Holy Spirit was leading me to clean up the influences in my life. For me that means two areas, Facebook and TV. Mind you that I was not viewing anything bad or inherently wrong; however, I've learned that anyone or anything that does not influence me towards Christ is influencing me away from him. So I drastically thinned down the posts that I see on Facebook and my TV viewing is down to one show, 2-3 hours a week, when it's on.

The result? Incredible. I'm finding that I'm far more sensitive to the Holy Spirit's voice and the gift of discernment is sharper than ever. Several specific things that the Holy Spirit told me last week, have materialized in people's lives this week.

Do you want a closer relationship with Jesus and to walk in the power of the Holy Spirit? Watch who or what is influencing your life.

Change in the Weather

Something has shifted in the heavenlies, in my spirit and in the church. The past months have been marked with fresh life, fresh vision, weakened spiritual opposition and breakthroughs occurring seemingly everyday.

I'm reminded of an email someone sent to me in early 2014. The sender, sensed, in their prayer time, that the clouds were going to part over our church and community. And we are seeing the Son brighter each day.

The weather is changing and just as a storm can be in one place and the sun can be breaking through in another, we know that God is in control of it all.

Storms will come and go, grey skies will give way to blue and, one day, the sky itself will part and we will see the Son shine eternally.

Till then, we press on in Christ's mission. #ExtraordinaryVision

Numbers

Wow, it has been over six months since I have blogged. My one New Year resolution was to attempt to write again. So, here is an attempt.

Last week, I started a message series at our church called From Ordinary to Extraordinary and this week, I prayed through and finalized a message from Judges, Chapter 6 containing the story of God's call of Gideon.

I'm sure you are familiar with the account. God chose Gideon to deliver Israel from the Midianites, who had amassed an army of 135,000 men. After starting Gideon out with some smaller tasks and building his faith, God placed him in charge of 32,000 men from Israel.

But God had other plans. 32,000 was too many. Can't you imagine Gideon's thoughts. "What, 32,000 Israelites is too many against 135,000 Midianites? What is wrong with your math, God?"

God whittled 32,000 men down to just 300. Now, we're talking some serious odds by all human thinking. God was going to defeat the Midianites and he wanted to make sure that Israel couldn't accept the credit.

As a pastor, I was reminded this week about how the success of a church is found in obedience to God. It doesn't matter what the numbers on the attendance sheet, the offering tally and "amount due" line of the bills are. God will do what he says he will do and plans to do even with a remnant of people and a sparse amount of resources.

Pastors can, sometimes, get caught up and concerned with numbers and can begin making decisions, not on what God wants but on what the numbers say. Perhaps God has purpose in seemingly downward trends in attendance and giving. When he brings the EXTRA to our ordinary, he, alone gets the glory.

So, do we stop teaching and modeling the disciplines of giving and being faithful? NO! Faithfulness, obedience, generosity and fellowship are what God desires to see in his people. I'm simply stating that we, as leaders, as the Church are far better off when we trust God to do the Extraordinary through us - even when us are few.

"Steady - Steady"

Everyday, I am increasingly aware of how inadequate I am in and of myself in doing what God has called me to do. I suppose that this is how I should feel, so I don't wander off on my own. But, the task is seldom easy, frequently difficult and often scary. I'm often torn between shaking the dust off of my feet and frantically searching for that one wayward sheep. Sometimes, I feel that one false step, one mistake, one decision, even the right decision, will cause so many to slip off of this tight rope we walk. 

Granted, the arms of our Savior are around us and a slip would only, at least, require us to allow Jesus to lift us back up onto the rope, but I still dread the loss of forward progress or, worse, those I walk with being paralyzed by fear and not trying again.

 Lately, I've been focusing on small steps that people are taking and walking beside them. Steps filled with pauses, as, together we steady ourselves and the Holy Spirit steadies us on the narrow path. 

This morning, in my prayer time, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, that my job was to make sure that the food is available and to be present for all those who are sticking around and eating it - walking with them. I'm sure that there is a better way of explaining that, but the words escape me at the moment.

It is relieving to know that I can't save anybody. God in his great grace spared us of that burden by making that Christ's ability alone. So, with every step taken by the people that I love and care for, and those who will allow me, I'll be there with my hand on their shoulder, cheering and encouraging. There are a few people taking small but significant steps in their walk with Christ and they are among my greatest blessings.

It's still scary, but I'm learning to keep my eyes on Christ more and more. And, when I do that, I won't be looking down.

JUMP! - It's Faster

But from there you will search again for the LORD your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him. DT 4:29 NLT

What's the quickest way to get to the water from the top of a seaside cliff?

Jump!

What's the quickest way to learn how to swim? 

Jump!

What's the quickest way to experience all that God has for you?

Jump!

Jumping can be scary and we can easily jump into things that are bad for us as we can for good things. 

Regardless of whether something is good or bad, the fact remains that the quickest way to get into it is to jump.

I have missed out on so many years, experiences, freedom and joy because I wouldn't jump into all God had for me. I opted to take the long, jagged trail down the side of the cliff, carrying all my junk with me. 

The verse above says that God can be found if we seek him with ALL our heart and soul. All means all, nothing is left over. Once your feet leave the edge it's a done deal - no going back.

Don't let your fear and your junk keep you from experiencing God. Leave those things behind and Jump!

TNT - It's DYNAMITE!

"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences." (Proverbs 18:21 NLT)

The Holy Spirit dropped this conviction into my heart today. As he did, my thoughts went to those times when my frustrations were manifested in my tone and/or my tongue. Last year was a bad year for that, revealing remnants of my immaturity in Christ, as a leader and as a pastor. 

I've learned that the people around us, often, take their cues and, even more sobering, make their decisions off of what we say and how we say it. We can, intentionally or in-intentionally, influence their thoughts, actions and, subsequently, their decisions about Jesus, the Church and their future by the same.

I choose to speak life with my words and tone. I believe that, in doing so, God will bless with the consequences, which are far better than those that come from speaking death. Our tongue and tone are dynamite and together, they can blow things up, either for the good or for the bad.

Lord, let the few words I speak, blow up and build up your Kingdom!